Guilt and Closure
When we have to make difficult choices. When we have to take on the responsibility of putting an animal down, there are always the ‘what ifs’.
I remember when I had to do this.
He was in pain. His eyes were sealed shut. He was weak. I made a choice. And he left this earth. What a responsibility we take on. And we are not God. We are not all seeing. We do not know how it would have turned out.
We just do the best we can in our humanness. We are imperfect, and so the question remains “Did I do the right thing?”
Sometimes this question can haunt us. Make us lose sleep. Wish that we did not have to be the responsible one, the grown up.
The answers are in sharing with others. Let others support you. Let others help carry your burden of responsibility. It will take the burden off your shoulders.
I just poured out my heart, hoping it would help me let go. What I received in return was strength, support, and love. Sharing is the access to all of humanity. To remind us that we are all living the same life.
When you are in pain, especially from loss, you need to share it with others. Allow them to hold you up. For when you are strong again, you can do the same in return.
Tags: Canine Cancer, Dogs, Losing your Pet
March 5th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Thank you for your post. It IS the hardest thing in the world to have to make that decision! I have had to do it on numerous occassions and each pet has left a mark within my heart. I have to say though that there was one baby, MISTY, that I literally ‘grew up with’. She was with me when I became a mom, through a brother having cancer, through the death of a relative, and my list goes on and on. Anyways she got cancer and I finally had to let her go so that she could be at peace - but she shed light on my life, had an impact on who i am today, in fact I even tattooed her name on my back with a picture of a puppy - she is with me each and every day as a part of my soul and she shares a never ending piece of me. Had to share - Thank you.
March 6th, 2009 at 8:27 am
How true! This is the downside of pet guardianship. Unfortunately, not all of our animals will pass away peacefully in their sleep from old age, curled in their favorite place after sharing a wonderful day with us and having their favorite meal in their bellies. Would that it were so!
I, like many others, had to make that difficult decision for my heart-dog. But as difficult as it is, sometimes they animal’s condition actually makes the decision easier for us. I, like Alex in Welderland, found much strength and comfort from those who had made similar decisions for their pets. And I have gone on to help others as a result, knowing first-hand about their pain, anguish, and guilt in making that final farewell.
April 1st, 2009 at 10:51 am
Thank you for your comments and bravery to share your story. I also had to make that difficult decision close to a year ago last month. Jake was my companion for close to 8 years and left this Earth way way too early. Cancer got the best of him. We tried everything, thousands of dollars, adjusting my work schedule to be home with him 24/7…… I would have done anything. I remember as if it was yesterday.. knowing that something that morning just wasn’t as right… things had not been right for months….. I took Jake back to see my amazing Vet Dr Susan Stewart….. ran some test, repeat xrays …. etc…….. around 5pm we had “that” discussion. The news was not good. I looked at my best friend’s eyes and asked him for a sign…. he GAVE IT to me and I looked at Susan and said.. it’s time. My brave beagle Jake laid down on his own, gave me a special look and as if he could speak…. told me that it was ok and it was his time to go. I held him and then allowed Susan to let Jake go to Heaven. I miss him dearly and now when I look up the sky with my second dog Quincy we know that we have someone very very special watching out for us. Jake taught me amazing life lessons that are so special. He taught me to be a great Mom, friend and person. What a gift! Thanks for letting me share….
Dawn Yang, Los Angeles, CA
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Good Info, Thank You!